"Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes..."

I’ll admit it. I wasn’t the easiest child to raise. My mother says she wanted to ship me off to a faraway land from the ages of 13 to 24. But over the years, she has worked hard to see me as the person I am today; not the selfish teenager of many years ago.

Unfortunately, I’ve recently been in situations where people from my past still want to see me for the flawed behaviors I’ve worked so hard to overcome. Sometimes people we grew up with only want to see us in the way that gives them the upper hand and, are easily disturbed when our actions challenge that.

It’s not always easy getting others to see beyond who you used to be and accept the changes in your way of life. In fact, sometimes it’s just the opposite. This is especially true when it comes to weight loss and adopting a healthy lifestyle.

David L. Katz, MD, MPH, director of Yale University’s Prevention Research Center and author of The Way to Eat, lists some things that people often say or do to throw you off course:

• “Fear” for your health. “What’s the matter — you are wasting away. Are you sure you aren’t losing too much too fast?” Or: “Are you sure that diet won’t raise your cholesterol?”
• Acting insulted. “You don’t like my pot roast all of a sudden? You’re too good for my cheesecake?”
• Mixing up food with love. “You don’t come to dinner — you don’t love me anymore.”
• Making you an outsider. Katz says this sometimes happens among co-workers. “You can’t eat Mexican because of your diet, so we will see you after we go out.”
• Leaving food around. The big candy dish on the receptionist’s desk in an office of dieters.
• Making up special holiday rules. “It’s your birthday — one piece of cake won’t hurt!”
• Imparting discouraging news. “I am so proud of you for trying this, even though you know that 95% of people fail to keep the weight off.” Or: “It’s not my business, but don’t runners get a lot of injuries?”
• Volunteering amateur psychoanalysis. “You know, you don’t seem to be as funny since you lost weight.”

When you make a commitment to get fit through diet and exercise, it creates big changes in your life—changes that you welcome. But if your friends and family aren't in the same mode of change, they can be oblivious, jealous, and uncomfortable with your changes. Some people, even people who care about you, will have a hard time if your new lifestyle interferes with theirs.

As with other behavior changes, your weight loss can trigger all kinds of fears and emotions in those around you They might feel guilty. While you're losing weight and getting in shape, they're not. If they can tempt you to "fall off the fitness wagon", it means you’re "normal" again, and that makes them feel good about the status quo.

Sometimes they just don’t understand. If they’ve never had a weight problem, they might not realize how hard you’ve worked to get where you are. They think it’s "silly" for you to worry about what you eat.

And sometimes it’s just selfishness on their part. They miss the old you. The FOOD you. The one who brought donuts and cookies to work, or the one who spent many after-work "happy hours" drinking and gorging on nachos and chips. The one who was always up for a rich, calorie laden dessert. Maybe you’re spending more time in the gym and have less free time for them, so maybe they’re afraid to lose you.

Even worse is when you feel like you've changed and no one else acknowledges it. You've done a lot of new things, you've put a lot of work into yourself, and you feel like a different person. But everyone still treats you the same way.

The efforts of other people to get in the way of your success are a sad truth when it comes to dieting. There will always be people who, consciously or not, will try to keep you from having it all. Changing behavior and breaking habits can be hard, and when we get negative reactions to our new ways, it’s easy to give up

The Center for Weight Loss Success in Newport News, Virginia suggests the following strategies to help curb the sabotage:

*Don't get in your own way-You're in control of your behavior.
* Be assertive with family and friends-Explain your goals in a heart-to-heart talk and ask for their help.
*Don't go crazy on vacation or at parties- Focus on socializing, not eating.
* Change your co-workers-Offices tend to celebrate often with cookies, cake or donuts. Tell co-workers you're trying to change and ask if they want to join you. If that doesn't work, avoid the break room and bring your own meals and snacks.
* Protect yourself-Identify situations that might ruin your progress and think about avoiding them until you've formed new eating habits.

Most importantly, you will actually have more personal power if you quit worrying about how others react to you and change how YOU see yourself!