When I was in college, Transcendental Meditation was just becoming
popular in the United States. The Beatles were in their "mindful"
stage and they had sought out the Maharishi to help them de-stress and
"find themselves".
My roommate was dating a guy who was training to become a TM
teacher and she thought it would be cool if we learned to meditate. We went
through the "classes", received our mantras and had a sort of
spiritual ceremony to mark our success.
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| My first attempt at meditating |
I did it regularly for a while and then just sort of used it when
I was really stressed out. I’d sit in my car or lock myself in the bathroom and
try to meditate to calm down. It helped a little, but I used it more as a
reactive band-aid to stress rather than a proactive lifestyle change.
Last year, I began reading more about the medical studies on the
benefits of daily meditation. Studies about how school children were improving
both scholastically and behaviorally from classroom meditation practice began
to surface.
These studies found that regular practice — even just a
few minutes per day –improved student’s self-control and increased their
classroom participation, respect for others, happiness, optimism, and
self-acceptance levels. It helped reduce absenteeism and suspensions, too. Another
study showed that meditating regularly also helps reduce activity in the
amygdala, the brain’s emotional center responsible for fear and stress
reactions. It also increases the activity in the prefrontal cortex where we
make our decisions, plan ahead, think abstractly.
“Ok. Sounds great,” I thought. I’ve always used exercise as a way
to relieve stress and focus, but still, I’m not exactly the calmest person
around. Why not try meditating again?
So, I began
meditating about 5-8 minutes a once a day and worked my way up to about 20
minutes. I still remembered the mantra given to me when I first learned to
meditate. According to how I was taught, the
mantra acts as a “vehicle” that allows the mind to settle into increasingly
subtle levels of thinking.
At first it was kind of difficult to stay
still (Surprise!!), but as I continued each day, I found the time going by very
quickly and I felt both relaxed and energized after I was done. I found that I like
to meditate early in the day, either when I first wake up or just after I
workout and stretch.
I was a little skeptical when I first
started, but I’ve been meditating daily for almost two months now, and I really
look forward to that time of day. If you asked me to describe how it has
affected me, I’d say I’ve noticed subtle changes. It’s not like I’m suddenly
calm all of the time, but my overactive “worry gene” seems to have relaxed a
little bit. Instead of creating a thousand awful scenarios in my head when I’m
worried about something, I’ve started to try and visualize a more positive
outcome. (Of course that doesn’t stop me from regularly bugging my adult kids
to make sure they’re doing ok).
I’ve also somewhat curbed my incessant people-pleasing and my need to be busy all of the time. (I said
“curbed”; NOT “stopped”).
Even though I first learned the process
through classes, you don’t NEED to be trained by the Maharishi in TM to
meditate. There are many ways to put yourself in that calm state without being
“trained” in workshops.
Just breathing in and out slowly and
repeating a meaningless soft sound can work. If your mind wanders, it’s ok. And
that’s kind of what helps you deal with stress; letting thoughts wander in and
out. Just bring your attention back to the breathing and sound repetition when
you realize it.
Or, if visualization works better for
you, sit quietly and imagine a place of calm and comfort, and focus on your
breathing that way. The same holds true when your mind starts to wander. You
just bring yourself back to that place and the same breathing pattern.
So, with that in mind, just make some
time to start.
Choose a calm
place to meditate. There's no wrong place to meditate, But it might be easier when
you're first starting out to be somewhere quiet: "Your mind will invent
enough distractions on its own, so no need to sit somewhere where there are
other things going on," says Danielle Ford, a meditation teacher based in
Denver.
Choose a room with
enough natural light to keep you alert. As a beginner, you might be prone to
sleepiness, but as you get more used to the calming state of mind, dimming the
lights and adding soft lighting such as candles can be inviting.
Get comfortable. You can position
your body for meditation in any number of ways—sitting, lying down,
kneeling—but ultimately, you should feel comfortable the whole way through.
Keep an easy body posture and try not to clench your fists or jaw. It’s fine to
adjust your body if you need to so you're not too focused on holding any one
pose. I could never sit cross-legged with my wrists on my knees like most
pictures of people meditating show. My neck always gets tight, so I usually sit
in a place where I can put my head back with support.
Be Consistent. Usually, people
find meditation most helpful if they do it early in the morning or just before
bed. This allows you to set the stage for your day or to unwind from it. You
can also try a “midday mindful moment” to decompress or focus on your tasks.
Once you've found a time that works best for your life, try to stick with that.
I find that mornings are best for me. My
husband laughs because he thinks meditation is like sleeping and why would I
wake up early just to sit up and sleep?
But it’s a different state of mind. And seeing changes and results take
time, so be patient with yourself.
Don’t try to fight
thoughts, let them roll in and out of your mind.
Shunning stressful
thoughts is usually a beginner's primary concern. Accept that your mind will wander.
You can't stop thinking; you can only redirect your attention. Try to observe
your thoughts and feelings without judging them, and you'll have an easier time
keeping cool amid daily stresses, too. Many psychologists recommend meditation
because it’s a great way to increase you resilience to stress. If you have
anxiety, it does help calm your nervous system. It’s most helpful to people who
are prone to rumination (unwanted overthinking, Hello? That’s me).
Focus on Your
Breath
Focus on a body sensation, like your breath coming in and out of your
nose, or your belly rising and falling. When stressful thoughts come up, don't
worry. Simply refocus your attention on your body—again and again and again.
And if it helps, you can also think of your breath as the central point of your
meditation.
Start Small
As little as three to five minutes is enough. Meditating a brief amount
of time, at the same time every day creates a habit—which you can then lengthen
to 15, 20, or even 30 minutes when you're ready. I’ve slowly increased my time
to about 20 minutes once a day and hope to find the time to meditate longer or
more often.
And you can meditate in different ways, too. If you can’t sit still for
that length of time, try walking outside somewhere without distractions and
focusing on the sights, sounds and feeling the sun or wind on your face.
There are many ways to create a meditation practice but the main
component is creating a time of day that allows you to relax with without the
need to resolve problems or create anything new. It can be part of a yoga
practice, or a separate time to let your thought process wander.
If you have 15-20 minutes for Facebook to suck you in, you have time to
meditate.
