"Let's Talk About Stress Baby..."

When I was in college, Transcendental Meditation was just becoming popular in the United States. The Beatles were in their "mindful" stage and they had sought out the Maharishi to help them de-stress and "find themselves".

My roommate was dating a guy who was training to become a TM teacher and she thought it would be cool if we learned to meditate. We went through the "classes", received our mantras and had a sort of spiritual ceremony to mark our success.

My first attempt at meditating

I did it regularly for a while and then just sort of used it when I was really stressed out. I’d sit in my car or lock myself in the bathroom and try to meditate to calm down. It helped a little, but I used it more as a reactive band-aid to stress rather than a proactive lifestyle change.

Last year, I began reading more about the medical studies on the benefits of daily meditation. Studies about how school children were improving both scholastically and behaviorally from classroom meditation practice began to surface.

These studies found that regular practice — even just a few minutes per day –improved student’s self-control and increased their classroom participation, respect for others, happiness, optimism, and self-acceptance levels. It helped reduce absenteeism and suspensions, too. Another study showed that meditating regularly also helps reduce activity in the amygdala, the brain’s emotional center responsible for fear and stress reactions. It also increases the activity in the prefrontal cortex where we make our decisions, plan ahead, think abstractly.

“Ok. Sounds great,” I thought. I’ve always used exercise as a way to relieve stress and focus, but still, I’m not exactly the calmest person around. Why not try meditating again?

So, I began meditating about 5-8 minutes a once a day and worked my way up to about 20 minutes. I still remembered the mantra given to me when I first learned to meditate. According to how I was taught, the mantra acts as a “vehicle” that allows the mind to settle into increasingly subtle levels of thinking.

At first it was kind of difficult to stay still (Surprise!!), but as I continued each day, I found the time going by very quickly and I felt both relaxed and energized after I was done. I found that I like to meditate early in the day, either when I first wake up or just after I workout and stretch.

I was a little skeptical when I first started, but I’ve been meditating daily for almost two months now, and I really look forward to that time of day. If you asked me to describe how it has affected me, I’d say I’ve noticed subtle changes. It’s not like I’m suddenly calm all of the time, but my overactive “worry gene” seems to have relaxed a little bit. Instead of creating a thousand awful scenarios in my head when I’m worried about something, I’ve started to try and visualize a more positive outcome. (Of course that doesn’t stop me from regularly bugging my adult kids to make sure they’re doing ok).

I’ve also somewhat curbed my incessant people-pleasing and my need to be busy all of the time. (I said “curbed”; NOT “stopped”).

Even though I first learned the process through classes, you don’t NEED to be trained by the Maharishi in TM to meditate. There are many ways to put yourself in that calm state without being “trained” in workshops.

Just breathing in and out slowly and repeating a meaningless soft sound can work. If your mind wanders, it’s ok. And that’s kind of what helps you deal with stress; letting thoughts wander in and out. Just bring your attention back to the breathing and sound repetition when you realize it.

Or, if visualization works better for you, sit quietly and imagine a place of calm and comfort, and focus on your breathing that way. The same holds true when your mind starts to wander. You just bring yourself back to that place and the same breathing pattern.

So, with that in mind, just make some time to start.

Choose a calm place to meditate. There's no wrong place to meditate, But it might be easier when you're first starting out to be somewhere quiet: "Your mind will invent enough distractions on its own, so no need to sit somewhere where there are other things going on," says Danielle Ford, a meditation teacher based in Denver.

Choose a room with enough natural light to keep you alert. As a beginner, you might be prone to sleepiness, but as you get more used to the calming state of mind, dimming the lights and adding soft lighting such as candles can be inviting.

Get comfortable. You can position your body for meditation in any number of ways—sitting, lying down, kneeling—but ultimately, you should feel comfortable the whole way through. Keep an easy body posture and try not to clench your fists or jaw. It’s fine to adjust your body if you need to so you're not too focused on holding any one pose. I could never sit cross-legged with my wrists on my knees like most pictures of people meditating show. My neck always gets tight, so I usually sit in a place where I can put my head back with support.

Be Consistent. Usually, people find meditation most helpful if they do it early in the morning or just before bed. This allows you to set the stage for your day or to unwind from it. You can also try a “midday mindful moment” to decompress or focus on your tasks. Once you've found a time that works best for your life, try to stick with that.  I find that mornings are best for me. My husband laughs because he thinks meditation is like sleeping and why would I wake up early just to sit up and sleep?  But it’s a different state of mind. And seeing changes and results take time, so be patient with yourself.

Don’t try to fight thoughts, let them roll in and out of your mind.

Shunning stressful thoughts is usually a beginner's primary concern. Accept that your mind will wander. You can't stop thinking; you can only redirect your attention. Try to observe your thoughts and feelings without judging them, and you'll have an easier time keeping cool amid daily stresses, too. Many psychologists recommend meditation because it’s a great way to increase you resilience to stress. If you have anxiety, it does help calm your nervous system. It’s most helpful to people who are prone to rumination (unwanted overthinking, Hello? That’s me).

Focus on Your Breath

Focus on a body sensation, like your breath coming in and out of your nose, or your belly rising and falling. When stressful thoughts come up, don't worry. Simply refocus your attention on your body—again and again and again. And if it helps, you can also think of your breath as the central point of your meditation.

Start Small

As little as three to five minutes is enough. Meditating a brief amount of time, at the same time every day creates a habit—which you can then lengthen to 15, 20, or even 30 minutes when you're ready. I’ve slowly increased my time to about 20 minutes once a day and hope to find the time to meditate longer or more often.

And you can meditate in different ways, too. If you can’t sit still for that length of time, try walking outside somewhere without distractions and focusing on the sights, sounds and feeling the sun or wind on your face.

There are many ways to create a meditation practice but the main component is creating a time of day that allows you to relax with without the need to resolve problems or create anything new. It can be part of a yoga practice, or a separate time to let your thought process wander.

If you have 15-20 minutes for Facebook to suck you in, you have time to meditate.