"Let's Talk About Stress Baby..."

When I was in college, Transcendental Meditation was just becoming popular in the United States. The Beatles were in their "mindful" stage and they had sought out the Maharishi to help them de-stress and "find themselves".

My roommate was dating a guy who was training to become a TM teacher and she thought it would be cool if we learned to meditate. We went through the "classes", received our mantras and had a sort of spiritual ceremony to mark our success.

My first attempt at meditating

I did it regularly for a while and then just sort of used it when I was really stressed out. I’d sit in my car or lock myself in the bathroom and try to meditate to calm down. It helped a little, but I used it more as a reactive band-aid to stress rather than a proactive lifestyle change.

Last year, I began reading more about the medical studies on the benefits of daily meditation. Studies about how school children were improving both scholastically and behaviorally from classroom meditation practice began to surface.

These studies found that regular practice — even just a few minutes per day –improved student’s self-control and increased their classroom participation, respect for others, happiness, optimism, and self-acceptance levels. It helped reduce absenteeism and suspensions, too. Another study showed that meditating regularly also helps reduce activity in the amygdala, the brain’s emotional center responsible for fear and stress reactions. It also increases the activity in the prefrontal cortex where we make our decisions, plan ahead, think abstractly.

“Ok. Sounds great,” I thought. I’ve always used exercise as a way to relieve stress and focus, but still, I’m not exactly the calmest person around. Why not try meditating again?

So, I began meditating about 5-8 minutes a once a day and worked my way up to about 20 minutes. I still remembered the mantra given to me when I first learned to meditate. According to how I was taught, the mantra acts as a “vehicle” that allows the mind to settle into increasingly subtle levels of thinking.

At first it was kind of difficult to stay still (Surprise!!), but as I continued each day, I found the time going by very quickly and I felt both relaxed and energized after I was done. I found that I like to meditate early in the day, either when I first wake up or just after I workout and stretch.

I was a little skeptical when I first started, but I’ve been meditating daily for almost two months now, and I really look forward to that time of day. If you asked me to describe how it has affected me, I’d say I’ve noticed subtle changes. It’s not like I’m suddenly calm all of the time, but my overactive “worry gene” seems to have relaxed a little bit. Instead of creating a thousand awful scenarios in my head when I’m worried about something, I’ve started to try and visualize a more positive outcome. (Of course that doesn’t stop me from regularly bugging my adult kids to make sure they’re doing ok).

I’ve also somewhat curbed my incessant people-pleasing and my need to be busy all of the time. (I said “curbed”; NOT “stopped”).

Even though I first learned the process through classes, you don’t NEED to be trained by the Maharishi in TM to meditate. There are many ways to put yourself in that calm state without being “trained” in workshops.

Just breathing in and out slowly and repeating a meaningless soft sound can work. If your mind wanders, it’s ok. And that’s kind of what helps you deal with stress; letting thoughts wander in and out. Just bring your attention back to the breathing and sound repetition when you realize it.

Or, if visualization works better for you, sit quietly and imagine a place of calm and comfort, and focus on your breathing that way. The same holds true when your mind starts to wander. You just bring yourself back to that place and the same breathing pattern.

So, with that in mind, just make some time to start.

Choose a calm place to meditate. There's no wrong place to meditate, But it might be easier when you're first starting out to be somewhere quiet: "Your mind will invent enough distractions on its own, so no need to sit somewhere where there are other things going on," says Danielle Ford, a meditation teacher based in Denver.

Choose a room with enough natural light to keep you alert. As a beginner, you might be prone to sleepiness, but as you get more used to the calming state of mind, dimming the lights and adding soft lighting such as candles can be inviting.

Get comfortable. You can position your body for meditation in any number of ways—sitting, lying down, kneeling—but ultimately, you should feel comfortable the whole way through. Keep an easy body posture and try not to clench your fists or jaw. It’s fine to adjust your body if you need to so you're not too focused on holding any one pose. I could never sit cross-legged with my wrists on my knees like most pictures of people meditating show. My neck always gets tight, so I usually sit in a place where I can put my head back with support.

Be Consistent. Usually, people find meditation most helpful if they do it early in the morning or just before bed. This allows you to set the stage for your day or to unwind from it. You can also try a “midday mindful moment” to decompress or focus on your tasks. Once you've found a time that works best for your life, try to stick with that.  I find that mornings are best for me. My husband laughs because he thinks meditation is like sleeping and why would I wake up early just to sit up and sleep?  But it’s a different state of mind. And seeing changes and results take time, so be patient with yourself.

Don’t try to fight thoughts, let them roll in and out of your mind.

Shunning stressful thoughts is usually a beginner's primary concern. Accept that your mind will wander. You can't stop thinking; you can only redirect your attention. Try to observe your thoughts and feelings without judging them, and you'll have an easier time keeping cool amid daily stresses, too. Many psychologists recommend meditation because it’s a great way to increase you resilience to stress. If you have anxiety, it does help calm your nervous system. It’s most helpful to people who are prone to rumination (unwanted overthinking, Hello? That’s me).

Focus on Your Breath

Focus on a body sensation, like your breath coming in and out of your nose, or your belly rising and falling. When stressful thoughts come up, don't worry. Simply refocus your attention on your body—again and again and again. And if it helps, you can also think of your breath as the central point of your meditation.

Start Small

As little as three to five minutes is enough. Meditating a brief amount of time, at the same time every day creates a habit—which you can then lengthen to 15, 20, or even 30 minutes when you're ready. I’ve slowly increased my time to about 20 minutes once a day and hope to find the time to meditate longer or more often.

And you can meditate in different ways, too. If you can’t sit still for that length of time, try walking outside somewhere without distractions and focusing on the sights, sounds and feeling the sun or wind on your face.

There are many ways to create a meditation practice but the main component is creating a time of day that allows you to relax with without the need to resolve problems or create anything new. It can be part of a yoga practice, or a separate time to let your thought process wander.

If you have 15-20 minutes for Facebook to suck you in, you have time to meditate.

"Get Out The Way...Whoa!"

 

We're a few weeks into January and you’ve probably noticed the gyms are busier and the classes are more crowded. I love seeing new people at the gym and it makes me happy that they’ve started to work out. But, there are some people who really get upset when “their” gym gets busy and their space is “invaded” by newcomers.

  I've been taking fitness classes for a LONG time. Over the years, I've gone from step aerobics to kickboxing to spin classes to Zumba to high intensity interval classes. There's a certain camaraderie that comes with regularly attending a class and it's something I love about group fitness.

  However, through the years, I've also seen the darker side and that "Mean Girls" mindset always seems to surface this time of year. 

 

Years ago, when I took step aerobics in a church basement class in Ohio, there was an older woman in the class who always put her step in the same spot. She had a good angle to watch the instructor and plenty of space to move around. But if anyone so much as walked toward that spot before she put her things there, they world be " encouraged" to find another space to stand in the class. Everyone was so afraid of her reaction that they would warn newbies in the class to keep away.

  In spin classes, certain bikes become "(insert name here)’s" bike and regulars know to stay away from it. I’ve seen a new person come in to a class and happily start adjusting the bike, only to face a staredown by the bike’s “owner”!

 In other crowded group fitness classes, there seems to be a territorial war going on this time of year. We all like certain spots in the room, but it gets a little out of hand when a fight breaks out over who was in the spot first.

  I get it. I like certain spots in the room too and it’s nice to have room to move around and a good view of the instructor. But, try to remember the first time you tried a new class. You’re already a little bit intimidated because you don’t know the routine. You might not know any of the people and they all seem to be BFFs from way back. Wouldn’t it have been nice if someone moved over a foot or two and made you feel a little bit welcome?

  For a lot of people, just finally getting to the gym is tough enough. A little encouragement from those of us who have been there could make a world of difference.

 

So, this year, instead of lamenting the crowded classes, and complaining about the busy gym floor, why not remember why you started going to the gym in the first place. You wanted to get healthier, stronger, fitter and happier. Are you getting there?

  Well then, maybe a your positive and welcoming attitude can help someone else get there too.

"Food" for Thought...

We are a week into 2015 and every commercial on TV is for some sort of magical weight loss program or gym.

And don’t get me wrong, it is possible to reach these goals, but far too many of us sabotage our effort with an “all or nothing attitude”.

So this year, rethink your direction. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but here’s some “food” for thought:

-Start by forgiving yourself.  You can’t go back, so don’t beat yourself up for sleeping late instead of getting up to workout, or eating cake instead of fruit for dessert, or any of the things you promised yourself and didn’t do. Looking back at past “failures” only feeds the negative voices.

-Take baby steps. Prepare yourself emotionally for change, Start to develop a positive experience with healthy foods, Experiment with foods that take a little longer to prepare but are worth the effort. Focus on savoring the enjoyment of healthy food that you either cook (in reasonable portions) or, if you can’t cook on regular basis, research restaurants and prepared food places in your area that offer healthy food choices.

-Realize that you are NOT too busy or too broke to eat well. If you can afford to eat fast food or buy processed food, you can afford to eat healthfully. Write down everything you eat for a few days. Then, see what you kinds of substitutions you can make to improve your nutrition and cut down your intake of processed foods. (Email your food log to me and I’ll send you some suggestions. I promise!!).

-Try to move more. Get a Fitbit or Garmin Vivofit or just a plain old pedometer, and start tracking your steps. Maybe you won’t run a marathon, but you can increase how much you move each day and that’s a great way to start. Walk, do laundry, clean the house, run after your kids. If you track your movement and see what you’re already doing, you’ll be motivated to move even more.

-Be grateful. If you are in good health or on the road to recovering from an illness, be grateful that you have a chance to make things better. You have a working body that can walk, run and move and that’s more than enough to reach your fitness goals.

-Recognize that this is one part of your life that you have total control over. You might not be able to make that cute guy at work ask you out, you can’t control the hiring process for that job you’re trying to get; but, you have complete power over your nutrition and fitness. It’s your time for you, your food choices; you make the decisions.

So what will you decide?

Happy 2015! Make it your best year so far!!